friend of goats

all goats have always loved me
in their yellow upside down eyes

I get my fist soft and ready
screw it into the skull
with sounds of affection

if necessary I'll get down in the mud
and butt her a little
till she gets the idea
then back off quick
before she gets serious

go back to the gentle fist

she will twist her head around on my knuckles
occasionally stopping to look up
to make sure I'm enjoying it as much
ah baby you okay
she says
yeah I'm okay
let's keep doing this all day

sometimes she will let me ride her

I've never got down and suckled a goat
that would be too much for me
but the feel of the hairy udders
as you squeeze them into thin jets
of milk warm and swirling with white hairs
in a pan
the smell of milk and hot pelt and dawn
yes we did this at dawn...

do you know that goats like to give birth at dawn
on calm misty days?

I always knew how to find them and when

they would be there with their hind legs apart
a little drunk from the shake of it all
somewhere behind a hedge or a barn
in the still moment
wisps of fog all around
ready to lay down in the dew
but waiting for me

it doesn't take long for them to squeeze out
but you have to keep the rats off the baby
if it's near a barn

after half an hour
we would walk back in together
both a little slimy
me carrying the newborn
her waddling a little sassy

both of us ready for applause
from our separate places

a yellow eye goat can shift
across a yard
quicker than a bird
no one will see

there I was walking in alone
my jumper covered in blood and eggwhite

sticky with secret shit



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