Saturday, July 14, 2007

Pope, get your ass to Mombasa

Pope, get your ass to Mombasa
hit the hot shanty streets
in the Popemobile
a sack of condoms to throw to the kids
a T-shirt saying condoms are cool with Jesus
(make that in Kiswahili too)
order in a lot more Popes
more Popemobiles
more archbishops, deacons, cardinals
(all of them funkier than old John-Paul
all of them mobile, angry, armed with many condoms
and the message)
go out spreading the word
from the North Coast to the Cape
condoms are cool with Jesus
in Mombasa and Nairobi
Addis Ababa and Gaborone
Cape Town and Natal
Kinshasa and Kigali
don't stop driving, waving, talking, giving, saying
sorry for the previous reticence people
telling how the New Funky Pope got the message in a holy vision
Get thee to Africa, Pope, to help with the new Holocaust
and issue me no Papal bull

tell them how condoms are beloved of God
how they ensure redemption amongst all users
that the very act of putting on
of a condom
is a holy act in itself
is a prayer
and a hymn
to a God who cares more for life
than scriptures and stuffy old men

you can lie a little if you have to
Pope, you're a missionary
getting the message across is your mission
whatever it takes
so get your ass to Mombasa
Maputu and Mogadishu
Khartoum and Harare
Pope, your road to heaven leads due South
out of Vatican City
winding down ice cold, logical
from Alex to Cape Town
better get new tyres on the Popemobile
a non-stop driver, some caffeine pills
and a truckload of you know what.
Bon voyage, Funky Pope,
now you're on a mission from God.
The Vatican lies about condoms: here

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