rat-children

intimate as rats with my two small sons
I feel failed
as though we had approached a cliff edge
then refused to jump
into that new world
I don't know now
if I can ever catch up
with their stamping afar
am I so cowardly?
how they stamp
how their stamping pounds
how the fail-pounds, the fail-fat
the stamp rat-ever
what would you say now, rat-children
of all my dreams?
my own ratness

look, imagine you came home
and there on the drive, the approach
you in your school stuff
only eight
and a pig's head
a dog eating a pig's face
oh it's just brawn for the dogs
says your porridge mother
for god's sake it's like seeing your grandfather
suddenly giving the mad neighbour a blowjob
you just know the world has changed


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