begin not now even to imagine

these thoughts do not even feel as though they begin here their beginning is all of mystery and nowhere would you not as I would give all this section of your life to reach the next place the other place where it begins again? maybe after all free will is a dog barking every time the wind creaks the gate if there is a gate even if there is a wind that comes from around that mysterious bend in the lane where the ghosts cluster and tug I know there will be another place unlike this one that is now so empty there I would be if only the ghosts would not tug and the wind not howl and the dog not bark and whine at everything such nothing all of it wrestling with itself from here to there is only shadow into which ideas collapse there around that corner is some dog that spits out futures that spit out ideas that come through but will not stop as though all of us nothing but trumpets blasted by some gate that is no longer even there just the wind now or the idea of wind and the dog anyway long dead and only now the disconnected idea of barking why we have continued to lay out food for so long for Death I or the idea of I cannot begin not now even to imagine what it was or might have been .